new address

i live here now.
come on over.
:)

bare naked toes

it's a constant thought in my head. the daydreams of you, inside my head. in my apartment, while stepping out of the shower dripping. i drive myself crazy, wondering what your name is. how it would sound with my accent, wondering which letters would be silent ones. martinis flavored green and blue and pink pour into our mouths and i just know i think i heard you laugh. it's midnight and as i race through my contacts on my cell your name pops up, silently, glowing, filling the dark space with a neon blue buzz.

call me when you get this
call me when you get home
call me when you can't sleep
call me.

i just want you to know that i would be gentle with you. fried eggs with cheese on a cold sunday morning. coffee flavored with chocolate. curling into blankets while blinking away sleep. bare naked toes escaping and braving the cold air. a shiver here, a murmur there and your arms reaching out to me. curling into my hair. this is how i imagine it would be with you if you where here. somewhere where the hours don't count. burning incense and chasing the smoke away with a tulip bursting alive. don't call this love, though. don't call this anything. call me when you get this. remember my voice coughing away fears, muttering and hesitant and slow but soft. here's another glass of wine, perhaps riesling with ice. just pour, darling... don't stop. i'm not rembering love, though.

how's this darling? shivering underneath blankets, the TV on mute, music at 2am, heels littering the hallway, coat on the floor. the silent buzz from the bedroom light, shadows of you walking by, pausing to steal a hug. how did you know? my skin is dented from your touch, i brush it away, erasing your taste but you return to highlight the lines. i was here, you insist. where's the wine i whine, reaching for the bottle.

it's midnight and i'm drunk. don't remember this tomorrow, ok? i ask. you shh me quiet, silencing me with the return of the wine and a smile. are you awake? call me when you get this.

drunk.

$10 crack-whore

in a few months... i might have to move again.
and wanting to avoid the mad rush of summer interns and students flocking back into the city looking for housing for fall, i thought i'd start my apartment search now.
i know what areas to avoid in the city, but since i started my search so early i thought i'd venture out to the bad areas, just have a look-see.

south east Washington.
it's always on the news. gun shot this. murder that. theft this.
i went there in the middle of the work-day. hoping the bright sunlight would expose all the loveliness of the neighborhood.
except, as i was walking to the apartment building, i was approached by a man.
"you working now?" he asked.
blank stare.
"will you take ten dollars for a dome?"

i stopped dead in my tracks.
just the other night, after my fourth red-haired slut shot, a friend explained to me what a dome was. a blow-job. and now here i am being propositioned to. at 3pm in the afternoon.

i promptly turned my ass around and RAN back to the metro stop.
over thai food later that evening, reliving that experience with friends, a friend said, rather innocently "yeah... you should have said 'do i look like a $10 crack whore to you?' ".